God's Design, God's Youth Leader by Kenny Metcalf

Bei         Being in ministry since 1979, and being a youth pastor since 1986, I have experienced a different side of Christianity that most do not.

I loved my days as a youth minister because it was the perfect place to encourage young minds finding their own individual paths on their adventure called life.

During my days as a youth minister. I wrote a page on the Perfect Youth Minister.. God ultimate youth leader. It was amazingly not what people expected.

It was not some young person on fire. Not some old person on fire. Not some person filled with gifting unbelievable.

Infact God ultimate youth leader didn't need any theological background or years of special training or permission from the church to be effective.

The writing laid out one on one ministry with youth. Direct connection with the youth, and was scripturally sound.

But it one little area that the church did not like... it eliminated the need for youth pastors in a church setting.

You see.. Gods plan for the perfect youth minister was, and still is the "parents".

Scripturally it is the parents duties to...
Prov. 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. 

They were to be the ones to take the time and educate their children first hand, by living example, showing the gospel by example to their children. Teaching them the word of truth first hand. Showing them God the Father, God the Son, and God the Spirit by their first hand example of love and devotion and lifestyle.

Sadly, the systems of today created "programs" that did away with direct parental responsibility (though they will say they never suggest that, and that it is always the parents responsibility to teach their children), but to the contrary.. they created positions & programs that slowly removed quality time parents would spend with their children and emphesised the importance of parents bringing their children to these programs and functions to teach their children how to be a Christian.

The problem with that was.. the parents fell for this. It was NEVER GODS DESIGN for another to teach your children how to be a Christian. It was Gods design for the parent to train up their children before God.

That is how it was for generations since time began. Parents taught the Children who God is, how to get along in life etc. The last century is when things really changed and parental abilities were challenged by government and church.

You can see how this kind of thinking did not make me popular with the system.

Personally.. Evie and I trained up our own children from birth to adulthood, from first hand experience. Not do as I say, but do as I do.

Our love for God was taught by example and not the letter of the law or attendance in church. We found we could have quality time together any day of the week, focusing on God even if it was sitting on a surfboard in between sets, sitting and discussing the greatness of our God.

Love your neighbor as yourself. We taught them by our living example. We also taught hundreds and hundreds of other parents children. Many parents too busy to teach their children because of their "need" to hear someone teach them, or their "need" to be in the church service because they won't make it til Sunday if they don't get their feeding. Many even had excuses they would give on why they don't have the time to teach their children God's word.

Some parents actually said.. here's my kid.. it's your job to teach them.

Evie and I started from nursery in 1980 and served years advancing to Jr. High, High School, College age and even young marrieds over the time period we did youth ministries.

NOTE: There were also those parents who did spend quality time nightly teaching their children, but they were not as many as you would think. They were their childrens youth leader, they knew it, their children knew, and we knew it.

Education:
Parents have not been educated enough by the church to personally take the responsibility to teach their children the bible. The church also fed this by making the leaders with doctrinal degrees above the rest of the lay people or making them feel unqualified to open the bible and teach it to their children.

But I found that as I opened the word and just read it, no interpretation needed, the Holy Spirit would teach HIS word to the children and give them understanding. And the questions that the children would ask would always get a reply.. and sometimes it was... I don't know or i'll let you know (if we did not know the answer at that time). It also would make Evie and I personally dig for answers.

Jhn 14:26 But the Comforter, [which is] the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.

The word also states that the Spirit of God will guide you into all truth. We found this to be so.

So we read Gods word to our girls every night. Didn't need in the early years to elaborate, just read.

As they got older, we held home bible studies for them and their friends. More questions asked, more digging. And there were many times we did not have the answer for their questions, but it was better to be honest with them than to make up something not sound.

So, the programs, leaders and stuff of the 20th and 21st century usurp'd the authority of the parents in the name of faithfulness to the church, it's leaders, attendance, and programs.

The direct plan of God for a parent to be the ONLY youth leader and direct influence for Christ by loving living example, was now willingly relinquished by parents unqualified to teach their children, but that was never Gods design and was not so until this past century.

The people fell for it and willingly gave their parental rights away. Still doing it with governmental issues, schools etc. A patern that followed into the church.

Less parental involvement in anything in life leaves children empty for love, attention, guidence, and society has proven there is always someone else ready to teach your children and lead them elsewhere.

I do believe there is a place for leaders of youth, (I have been in those shoes and there is a need) Because there are too many varibles in society today, because society today is so messed up.
 The government continues to erode or take away the family. The church has also contributed to that with their programs (as I pointed out earlier).

There are kids with no parents or parents who don't care about their children, who do need guidence from loving people. To many children having children, and single parents needing help, and responsibility is not taught to our children in our society any longer, and morality is not taught, so with society in koas, there is a need for leaders of youth, but how much of that lack of parental involvement has the programs caused within Christianity as well?

I know many parents who's children want nothing to do with Christ because of growing up and being dumped off on others at church.

These Kids saw the church as more important than them. Not God, the Church and it's programs.
Their parents proved that everyday, and leaders also put guilt on people to never miss a service or you are unfaithful.

Many parents are self centered, and many interested in their own ministry above their family, not seeing their first ministry and priority before God was raising another generation of God lovers.

I had asked God a question when I was on the road with Stryper about ministry and what I should do, and the response was sobering and lead me to leave the band and stay home with my wife and children to nurtcher my relationship with them... the response was... "If you cannot raise your children to love me, how can you expect to lead others to me? They are your first ministry and most important one before me"!

Sobering!
So I left Stryper.
Best decision I ever made.
No regrets.
Quality time spent with my family in direct fellowship with God.
Being the priest of the home meant authority above the local pastor. It was God order and the fruit remains. It's how it is supposed to be. Evie and I were our childrens youth ministers.

Keep in mind no formal training. God speaks to us if we are willing to listen and then apply what he says.

Sadly.. most parents miss out leading their children, and the bible is taught to their children by others, but preached at by their parents, but not lived by their parents, and that gets old eventually and Christ is not seen and the children rebel or decide they don't want any part of that, all because the relationship of who God is, his genuine love and mercy was not evident and not personally passed down to the children by a living example/parents.

I write from what I have seen (over 25 years).

People are generally lazy. So if someone else can do what I am supposed to do, generally my flesh welcomes that. Thus we are where we are today. We willingly gave away our God given duties to another.

God's plan for the youth leader was and still is the parent and NOT another.

God's plan for situations of young unwed mothers, or teens abondoned by their parents goal for money and stuff.. is the older women stepping up to the plate and guiding them with wisdom. (I see no programs here.. I see personal involvement from individuals.. mothers, grandmothers, neighbors).

Gods plan for young men who are making wrong decisions etc. is for the older men to step up to the plate and firmly guide them, and all of these things can be done without programs.

The older women are to help the younger women, and the older men to guide the younger men, and that is scriptural and sound.

This post does not have all the answers to society's problem, it just make a solid point about a Parents responsibility to personally Train up their child.

It is not to late to be activly involved in your childs life. Teach by loving example and not the letter of the law. Do as I do is the best way to share Christ, Your children will see Christ is real by how you live, by how you put them on the priority list above your needs. And as you do this unto them, you've done it unto Christ.

Parents.. take back what was taken away. Teach your children about God, don't let another do what is your duty before God and your Children. You were always God's design for guiding your children.

Now for those of you out there that are there for those kids whose parents are not teaching them and those kids with no parental involvement... I thank you for being there.

This was a post just to clarify who really is God's Perfect design for a youth leader (and I hope I made it clear it was not supposed to be found in the church system and their programs but at home in the form of the parents). Now it's up to parents to step up and accept the responsibility and challenge.

I hope this has stirred some of you in your spirit today.