Once Shattered And Broken by Malisa Hodges

I know how it feels when nobody cares. I have been there. I craved love so much that I would do almost anything for it. Growing up gets screwed up because of no love. The counterfeit will only soothe the soul temporarily.

I grew up in a house of glass where everything was cold and empty. I did not receive hugs or love of any kind. I longed to hear "I love you", but all I got was verbal abuse. I wanted to be held, but it was like I was invisible.

I had a miscarriage at 14. I then spent 1 year in the girls youth home when I got caught shoplifting. My mom told the judge she could not doing anything with me which was true. I needed love and discipline. When I got out of the youth home, I ended being charged for accessory to grand theft auto. Hows that for a first date? I did not see that one coming. I was going to clubs when I was 16 and in a wet t-shirt contest. I can't tell you how many times I can't remember anything about what went on at the party. I hope nothing embarrassing. I am probably better off not knowing and spare myself the self-humiliation. At the age of 18, I spent 5 months in the Women's Prison.

My mother is paranoid schizophrenic and unable to show or give any type of love. My father worked but did not know how either. I understand now they did the best they could.

I was 17 when I felt loved for the first time. My best friend's aunt took an interest in me. I remember the day she picked me up. We were sitting in her car in the Andy's parking lot when she started crying. She said she did not know how to reach me. No one had ever cried for me before. I felt loved and my whole life changed at that point.

Rejection scars the soul and cripples the emotions, but God's love heals the brokenness.